Orbit 42

I always get reflective around my birthday. My 42 orbit around the sun was marked with excruciatingly sad lows and exuberantly incredible highs. If I had known that last year was the last birthday my mom would be with me, I know I would have savored that time even more. If I had known last year that I would be sitting here in love with an incredible man, I wouldn't have believed it. But that's just the way life goes, high highs and low lows. I will say this, the lowest lows sure make the highs higher. That's a lot of words to say; the dark nights of the soul can make the peaks even more incredible.

So, for this year, I want to share 42 things I have learned along the way. Some are silly, some are serious, and some are just non-negotiables.

1. Children are God's way of making you remember what it was like to have all the wonder and curiosity of the world.

2. Family is so important, blood or chosen, it's all important.

3. Friends are magical; they draw the essential parts out of you through being their friend.

4. There is nothing more important than kindness. (we need it more now than ever)

5. Peace and joy are important, but be aware that you will become enemies to those who don't have either. Be at peace and have joy anyways.

6. Faith isn't a weapon; in my experience, those who use it that way are very insecure in their faith journey.

7. You're far from it if you think you've figured it out.

8. Never underestimate the value of a life partner. When you have the right person, it can be one of the most amazing things ever.

9. I never understood what it meant to be a feminist until I had daughters and heard what men in power had to say about them.

10. Deconstruction is a natural process of faith. If you haven't had an existential crisis, I think you're just playing faith.

11. Politics is designed to divide us. (don't let it)

12. Trans rights are human rights.

13. Being gay is great!

14. Being true to who you are is worth all the rumors. (oh yes, I have heard them all)

15. Questioning isn't rebellious, it's called seeking.

16. Just because someone said it's an absolute doesn't mean it is.

17. Mental health is as important as physical health.

18. Running is fun.

19. Conversation therapy is child abuse.

20. Black Lives Matter (still)

21. We are swimming in seas of racism, and it's hard to see it because it's so pervasive.

22. Systemic racism resulted from no people of color at the table when the country was founded.

23. I believe in liberty and justice for ALL.

24. Loving your neighbor is bigger than you can ever imagine.

25. Shame is not a motivator.

26. Growth means you will offend those who benefit from your ignorance.

27. If you can see it, you're thinking too small.

28. A lot can be accomplished if we stop the judgments.

29. The rapture is used to keep people giving.

30. The creation story in Genesis is an allegory.

31. The LGBTQIA+ community is terrific and filled with amazing people.

32. Investing in yourself if healthy and good for you.

33. Children are very funny.

34. Parenting is worth it because you can reparent yourself simultaneously.

35. Children fill life with awe.

36. I refuse to believe that God hates anyone.

37. I wish I had listened to my mom more.

38. Mom was right on some things, and wrong on others, either way, she was incredible.

39. Buckle your damn seatbelt.

40. It's never too late to come out of the closet.

41. Loving others is tough unless you have no motives.

42. You are incredible, just for being you!

So here's to this year! I am sure it will be the best yet! I love my life, and my kids, and my family, and my friends, and my Solomon! Life is full, and so is my coffee cup!

Forward!

-bc